#Health and Well-being

Pregnancy, childbirth : The taboo questions you don't dare to ask

Taboo questions
Can you have sex when you're pregnant ? During childbirth, is there a risk that you might urinate or defecate while you push ? I don't feel anything for my baby, will I be a bad mother ?
Being a new mum, or preparing to become one, raises a thousand new questions. Out of embarrassment or simply because you find them a little futile, you often don’t even ask them.
At Mustela, on the contrary, we believe no question should be taboo.
In order to answer some of your most awkward questions, with the help of a midwife, we've put together all the most intimate questions about motherhood : before, during and after the arrival of a baby.
And by the way, congratulations on your pregnancy !

During Pregnancy

Sexuality

Can you have sex when you're pregnant?

Yes, and it’s even recommended for the couple! If you’re in a “high-risk pregnancy” however, (threat of premature delivery, placenta previa) seek advice from your medical team. Apart from these situations, do go ahead and enjoy!

Can having sex help induce labour when you're at full term?

Theoretically yes. This is due to a hormone present in semen, called “prostaglandin”. In practice, however, few women agree that it works - to their great despair - at the end of pregnancy (they would so much like to give birth at this point...).

Can certain position hurt my baby?

No, none of them will hurt your baby. Depending on the stage of pregnancy (the size of the belly), women are more or less comfortable in certain positions. The Kamasutra also details special positions for pregnant woman

What sexual positions should you choose at the very end of pregnancy (with a very big belly?)

Choose the ones that feel best for you. It’s very personal. You can always take a look at the Pregnancy Kamasutra!

During sex, can my partner's penis touch my baby's head?

No. Many body tissues (uterus, water, amniotic pouch) separate them.

Physiology

What is the mucus plug?  

It’s mucus clumped together in the cervix. At the end of pregnancy, it forms a plug which makes the channel to the uterus a little more airtight. Sometimes, you can reject it at the end of your pregnancy, but this will not necessarily mean that childbirth is imminent or any time soon, as opposed to many beliefs.

How much weight can you put on during pregnancy?

Usually, it’s an average 12 kg, but this varies according to your starting weight... What matters is that you feel comfortable with your body, keep a balanced diet and keep moving.

 

After Childbirth

Physiology

After childbirth, are your periods very heavy?

Yes, this is often the case with the first periods after childbirth. These periods occur on average 2 months after giving birth if you are not breastfeeding, or 2 months after you’ve stopped breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding

Will breastfeeding ruin my breasts?

No, it's pregnancy more than breastfeeding that increases your breast volume and that can potentially change their shape. This is why “ptosis” (sagging) can occur after pregnancy if your skin has been stretched. Gaining too much weight can also cause this to your breasts.

Baby

Why is my baby's stools green or yellow?  

The green colour of baby's stool corresponds to a baby’s first stool after birth, which is called meconium. A baby who is only breastfed will have “golden yellow” stools. Later, with food diversification, they will turn brown. If your baby’s stool seems very liquid or more solid than usual, if it comes too seldom or too frequently, don’t hesitate to seek medical advice.

How do i know if i have truly bonded with my baby?

Bonding happens when you meet your baby's needs with affection, tenderness, and steadfastness. Learning to “decode” your baby builds the attachment process. As you attend to his needs, he learns that he can trust you and rely on you for his comfort and safety. This is how bonding forms.
You’ll gradually notice how easier it will become to comfort your baby, how he will want to be close to you, and how he will react to your presence, even if you’re in the room next-door. Holding, rocking or talking softly to your baby stimulates attachment.

How do i know if my baby loves me?

Responding quickly to your baby's crying is the best way to make him feel that he’s loved
and safe. If your baby does not react to your presence, if he doesn’t show interest in others, or doesn’t make eye contact, seek medical advice.

Right after childbirth:

I don't feel anything for my baby... Will I be a bad mother?

Not at all!!!! You need time to “meet” with your baby. In any case, don't put pressure on yourself to be the perfect mother... simply be his/her mother!

Sexuality

Is it normal lose your sex drive after giving birth?

Yes, this is frequent. The fatigue caused by childbirth, the lack of sleep when you look after your baby, body pain (scars and painful breasts) as well as hormonal disorders often cause your sexual desire to fall flat. Changes in your body, whether in shape or weight, can also make you feel less self-confident and reduce your sex drive.

How do you get your sex drive back when you feel more of a mother than a woman after birth ? How do you get "the urge" back?

Don't put pressure on yourself! You, as a mother, given all the physical and emotional changes you just went through, must find your way back to being a woman again. Remember that you also need to be fulfilled by your couple, not only by your baby.
Find the way back to being in a romantic relationship, stay close to one another, listen to each other and try a little tenderness… Start slowly, try to be caring and sensual to revive your flame.