Mustela: Hello Eve, could you please introduce yourself for those who don't know you?
Eve Simonet: “My name is Eve, I'm 27, I'm from Normandy but I have lived in Paris for 10 years now. I have a 20-month-old little boy called Ferdinand! I'm also a filmmaker and recently made a postpartum documentary series! I’m also President of “The stroller club”, an association for postpartum mothers.
M: What’s your definition of postpartum?
ES: “It's the transitional state through which a woman goes to become a mother. A period of about 3 years, where you rebuild yourself as a mother, where you embody this role that you will have to play for life! It’s also a period when your couple reorganizes itself within the new family, a time when you re-discover your body after childbirth, a state of recovery... It's a lot of things!"
M: How did you experience this period?
ES: “It was painful for the first year. I had seriously idealized the moment of my son's birth and its aftermath. I really went by the saying that ‘mothers know how to do it, that being a mum is innate’. The truth is that I found myself very isolated, with a sick baby (gastro oesophageal reflux, allergy to cow milk protein), in a context of health crisis: crisis at home and crisis outside! I felt very insecure. I couldn't recognize myself; I had the impression that I’d lost my identity, that I was in great distress in my couple and in my body.
When my son turned one, things slowly got better. I started to get used to my new role, to become comfortable in my relationship with my son. He also started to sleep through the night (finally!). And now I realize that this winding path has forced me to leave my comfort zone and to invent a new life, a new job, a new personality, and I'm enjoying it now – finally!”
“I couldn't recognize myself; I had the impression that I’d lost my identity, that I was in great distress in my couple and in my body.”
Eve Simonet
M: How are you today?
ES: “I feel good, really good! I can see light at the end of the tunnel and all that I’ve accomplished in the past 20 months, and I feel very proud and grateful!”
M: Was making this documentary a kind of therapy for you?
ES: “Oh yes, definitely! I spent one year meeting mums who were going through the same thing as me. It helped legitimize my feelings and I didn’t feel so alone anymore!”
Meeting professionals also helped to answer so many questions. On top of that, we filmed in many different countries (Canada, Holland, France) and I went on shooting tours which felt like great breaks from home too!"
M: Why do you think there’s such a taboo around postpartum?
ES: “For many reasons. One of them is because in our society, ‘women are supposed to have innate maternal instinct’ and they’re supposed to love taking care of their children. It’s become such a taboo subject to tell the truth on mothers’ daily lives: to say how difficult it is, that no, it’s not all just happiness, that yes, it is alienating to change diapers all day without finding time to take a shower!
It’s gradually become an omerta over time, our mothers, grandmothers were not allowed to have other ambitions than to take care of children, that was their role.
Today, we claim our right to exist in our own right with this subject. We claim that, yes, we have ambitions, that we want to be mothers but not only mothers and above all, we want to educate our children WITH our co-parent!
Another reason is based on women's bodies: society doesn't want to see our bodies as recovering, limp, flabby, empty bodies. Pregnant bodies are venerated but who wants to see what happens to them after? Our society is extremely demanding towards women and their body’s appearance!
In short, there’s so many reasons for these taboos! But we go into more details in our documentary!”
M: What would you tell a future mum who’s “afraid” of what she might read or see on the subject?
ES: “I’d say that there’s no need to worry in anticipation. That knowledge is power!”
M: “Precisely, do you think your work helps to change mindsets?”
ES: “I think education is key. In this experience, I know it helped a lot of mums feel less lonely and isolated, but it was also good for dads to realize what was at stake during this time.
I hope it will have a political impact. We really need to move things forward!”
“There’s no need to worry in anticipation. Knowledge is power!”
Eve Simonet
M: “Finally, can we hope for another documentary soon?”
ES: “Of course! We're shooting episodes 5 & 6, which will be respectively about mums and their own mums (Grandmas that is! To find out more about what postpartum meant in those days), and about dads and the crisis in the couple too!
The fight also continues with the Stroller Club, which helps break isolation that can be so harmful in postpartum!
I’m also preparing another documentary on giving birth. I certainly don’t get bored!”